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Monday, February 9, 2009

Change of Season

I've been thinking a lot lately about how God's using this time in my life...and my reactions to it. Those who know me know that I'm typically very goal-oriented. I like to-do lists and results. With my goal-orientedness comes impatience and aversion to change especially if its out of my control... Despite how uncomfortable this time of uncertainty has been and continues to be, I'm beginning to see that its been God's plan all along. I would very much love to know where He'll send me next. I'm really looking forward to being settled in the next season of my life. I'm learning though, that this time of waiting on Him, of having to fully trust the Lord with everything from finances to friendships to knowing I'm serving meaningfully with my life is a season in itself. Some of these things will be continuing lessons throughout my life. For now though, they're the focus of a season. I'm here to draw closer to His heart. I've been so desperate to know His plan when He wants me to have a desperation to seek and know His heart.
Looking back at past posts on the GirlTalk blog, I found a couple on changing seasons. I'm thankful for resources such as this. Having been recently convicted to honestly examine how I use my time in this season, I pray for the discipline to use them wisely.

Changing Seasons
God of Our Seasons

I believe God knows each of His children individually and intimately. He knows music tends to be thought-provoking and heart-touching for me. He's been using it to minister to me as He peels through some layers of hurt and fear.

Avalon- Come and Fill My Heart

Free, I long to be free
I long for the day I'll believe
That all You say You see in me
Is true, that's hard for me to do
It's hard for me to die to myself
Entrust my life to someone else
So come and empty me out
I'm no good without
You inside of me

Come and fill my heart with hope
Come and fill my life with love
Come and fill my soul with strength to carry on
Because from here the climb is steep, the road is long
Come and fill my days with dreams
Empty me of all the empty things
That I hold onto
Come and fill my heart with You

I need You in my life
Need You like the air that I breathe
You've become the very heart of me
And I, I can't believe my eyes
Can't believe the dream that I've found
Lord, Your love has turned my world around
So come fill up my heart
'Til I'm like You are
So deep inside of me

Search me, Lord
Try my heart
Come and take me now and make me new
So that all of the world will see You
Overflow in my life



As difficult as it has been, I'm beginning to look forward to this season of singleness as God reveals more of Himself to me. Ps 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted" (whatever the cause) As almost silly as it may sound, its times like these that I'm incredibly thankful to be a girl. I love that my female heart longs for love, comfort, protection and that the Lord fills those needs perfectly. I love that I can picture my Heavenly Father as comfort-Daddy, protector, confidant; as a pursuer of my heart and lover of my soul. I can find all the companionship, acceptance, fulfillment and love I'll ever need in Him. I'll likely never fully understand the depths of His heart and love for me until Heaven-its unfathomable. But I'm going to enjoy going as deep and getting as close as I can until then.

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