Do You Trust Me?

In this post, I shared about a lesson Pastor Steve gave on trusting God when you have no idea how He'll work in a situation. I have been reminded of this more lately....following Christ, trusting Him is challenged when we must do so by faith not by sight. In the times it seems God's quiet, He's working mightily, pushing me past comfort zones and safeguards to rely on Him alone.
I love this song by Jeremy Camp. Although it sounds like a lament its actually a victory cry. When I can't, God does.


Jeremy Camp- Healing Hand of God

I have seen the many faces of fear and of pain
I have watched the tears fall plenty from heartache and strain
So if life's journey has you weary and afraid
There's rest in the shadow of His wings

I have walked through the valleys, the mountains, and plains
I have held the hand of freedom that washes all my stains
If you feel weight of many trials and burdens from this world
There's freedom in the shelter of the Lord

And I have seen the healing hand of God
Reaching out and mending broken hearts
Taste and see the fullness of His peace
And hold on to what's being held out
The healing hand of God

And I have touched the scars upon His hands to see if they were real
He has walked the road before me, he knows just how I feel
When you feel that there's not anyone, who understands your pain
Just remember all of Jesus's suffering

'Cause I have seen the healing hand of God
Reaching out and mending broken hearts
Taste and see the fullness of His peace
And hold on to what's being held out

Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you
He's near to the broken and confused
By His stripes our spirit is renewed
So enter in the joy prepared for you

I have seen the healing hand of God
Reaching out and mending broken hearts
Taste and see the fullness of His peace
And hold on to what's being held out

The healing hand of God
The healing hand of God
The healing hand of God

And hold on to what's being held out
(Hold on)
And hold on to what's being held out
(Hold on)
The healing hand of God, oh, oh

S-H-E-N-A-N-I-G-A-N-S

Days in the office continue to be punctuated with humor and the recent addition of "shananigans". Another co-worker and my cube-mate have a bit of a minor prank war going on. They like to wait for the other person to step away from their desk then move or rearrange things on the person's desk. (some days just require a brief visit back to childhood.... it reduces stress ;) ) I've been the victim of shenanigans once (you don't realize how much of a creature of habit you are until "getting back to work" involves your hand hitting the desk where your mouse should be!) but, for the most part, I get to witness the planning, execution and discovery of the shenanigans.
Clay recently got pretty creative in the execution of his shenanigan....

Those are thumbtacks on Katie's chair! I did warn her not to sit down before she discovered it! haha

I'm starting to think a great sense of humor is a prerequisite to work in our department! One of the ladies, who sits at the main entrance to our section of the building, occasionally puts print-outs on the front desk. These were two of the most recent....





Can anyone else relate?? haha

Be careful what you pray for....encountering God's power

I'm in a season of finding out more about God and His power.... His power over pain, His power over the future, His power as protector, friend and Father. Its a trying season that's left me drained and, most of the time, at a loss for words.
God is stripping me of fears, of my plans, of my reliance on myself... (be careful what you pray for! He answers!!!) I can see how He's answered prayer, just in ways that may not have been my first choice... I'm seeing him strip out the selfishness I add into the desires He places on my heart. (subconsciously saying: "sure God, that's a great desire, but lets add this to give me something out of it") This leaves me with the choice of turning away in a frustrated, childish hissy fit or turning to my God in surrender. I'm sure anyone can guess which I'm prone to!
He's SO faithful. Even when I'm crying out that I'm angry, hurt and confused, He sends little gifts of grace to remind me that He loves me and that He's the gardener, pruning diseased branches to make me stronger. One sweet gift of grace came in the form of a surprise visit from a sister who lives a couple of hours away. Just when I needed to be prayed over and hear truth, she was literally waiting for me when I got home from work. She reminded me that God sympathizes with every hurt, every emotion, every tear, EVERYTHING. He loves me as a daddy. An example I heard recently from a new mom: Even as the child is giving a parent a look of betrayal and hurt, the parent must allow them to get immunizations. I, as God's daughter, so often look at Him as being responsible for my pain. What I forget is that He knows what's on the other side. He knows whats best for me. He allows the pain knowing His arms are ready and waiting for me to crawl into them.
Although, sometimes retrospectively, I can see God's hand in each situation, each test, each leap of faith. Finding Him is becoming easier. He's blessed me with an amazing, sustaining peace over some of the more confusing situations and He's opening my eyes to find Him when, at first, I cant see how something could possibly turn out for the best. Though, my idea of "the best" isn't God's. His is better! As a sister recently reminded me, this life, this commitment to take up my cross and follow Jesus isn't for my glory; its for God's. Our obedience leads to God's glory which brings us joy! This walk does involve sorrows and trial but I don't have to carry the burdens that seem to be mounting! He allows trials but He does desire that I have His joy!

Update

I know I haven't had much activity here... Once again, I've thought about it but either I don't have time or don't have energy.
There's a line to a song... I can't even remember how long ago I heard it! For the longest time, all I could remember was the one line: "When I cannot see your hand, I'll trust your heart"
I recently found the rest of the lyrics: Jeff Anderson- Paralyzed

You have paralyzed all that is inside,
All that is the heart of this desperate man.
I will celebrate the coming of your love.
I can hardly wait for that glorious day.
Though I can’t see you. Though I can’t touch you.
I know that you are reaching out your hand.
I will always walk in your beauty.
When I cannot see your hand I’ll trust your heart.
I can barely breath. I can hardly speak.
I can only close my eyes I can’t even think.
You’re all around me. You’re all that I can see.
The closer that I get the more I am free.
Though I can’t see you. Though I can’t touch you.
I know that you are reaching out your hand.
I will always walk in your beauty.
When I cannot see your hand I’ll trust your heart.
I believe in miracles.
I believe in the God that saved the Universe.
To live this life without you, I could think of nothing worse.
Though I can’t see you. Though I can’t touch you.
I know that you are reaching out your hand.
I will always walk in your beauty.
When I cannot see your hand I’ll trust your heart.

When I can't see God's hand, when I don't understand how something could end well, I must trust God's heart, trust His track record. He's never failed me. Anything I've turned over to Him has turned out better than I could have imagined.

Quotes from the Cube Farm 2

Days at the office continue to be filled with the usual busyness that characterizes everyone's work load.... Thankfully, I'm still surrounded by some of the most light-hearted, down-to-earth people I've had the pleasure of knowing. Its certainly puts things into perspective when you spend a few minutes calling a co-worker (in another building) to tell them to come get the last doughnut someone brought in because their Facebook status that morning said they wanted one... (yes, it happened...HA!)

Coworker "C": Hah, not guilty
Me: Just this once
"C" and only once I wont make it a habit
Me: Exactly You used your one free card for the year
"C" haha doh
Me: You're taking over for "Coworker B" as office mischief maker Everything is now your fault
"C": and working hard at it
Coworker "B": Dont worry, I'll make regular visits to keep them on their toes. I'm harder to handle when I come in large random bursts



Coworker "T": They are going to lump some newbies under me, I will train them
Me: Oh dear... they're going to let you mold fresh, young minds....
"T": yes
Me: Should I preorder the damage control? :P
"T": please Psychiatric Health
Me: with some counseling....just in case...might be traumatized
"T": exactly



"J"'s favorite phrase: Is it Tracey's fault?
Me: I take no responsibility for anything...ever!
"J": She's learning too quickly!
Yes, my upbringing by one of your fellow "geeks" has taught me well. To (a few of my coworkers): I've been trained well. Underestimation could prove dangerous! (The fun-sized one is on my team!)
"J" Be careful, you know what they say..... "once you go geek, you don't go back" .... You are running dangerously close to full geekdom, it's expensive and you must spend lots of time in Best Buy and computer related websites hunting for toys.


My cube-mate: I'm not surprised you know the back route (into the cafeteria) We just rigged a golf cart!
She's (me) now proved herself as the MacGyver of the office!!
(In our defense....someone forgot to return the key!....so we might have improvised...with a house key.... 0:) )

My cube-mate: I'm part of the team now
Coworker "K": Til death do us part
cube-mate: Or until the contract funds run out...