I'm honestly not quite sure how cohesive this post will be.... God's been revealing Himself and His plans for me in ways I'm sure I don't fully understand yet. Although some of it may not make sense, there are definitely things worth sharing as God's been working so much in my life. So here goes.....
I spent the long MLK weekend in Clemson. For various reasons, my heart very much needed to be uplifted through the prayer and fellowship of members of my church family, particularly my sisters (To those of you who have been so graciously lending a loving ear and sound council: I am so thankful for you and your prayers. God's been using you so mightily in my life! Once again, you never fail to speak truth while showing more love than I know how to accept sometimes. You're truly tools of our Father) My time back in home sweet TigerTown was divided among much-needed time with my sisters, much-missed group activities, gathering the wisdom of mentors, and also some time alone as God ministered to my heart through His creation. (oh how I long to be closer to such breathtaking reminders of God's creativity, attention to detail, and beautifully mastered pursuit of my heart through nature). My Heavenly Father knows every intimate detail of what I need and graciously provides even when my sinful nature selfishly holds on to fear that things wont be as good if I release control.
I told some of those I spoke with over the weekend that it seemed to me that God "turned up the volume on His voice" on my trips to Clemson. The drives there and back are a great time to listen to sermons, music or just shut everything off and spend quality time with the Lord in prayer. While I'm there, I'm surrounded by such strong believers who I respect and cherish time with. A few days after I returned, a friend pointed out that I see God through people. I think she makes a valid observation. It definitely explains part of why the transition away from Clemson and my church family has been so much more difficult than I anticipated. She encouraged me to remember that God isn't just in Clemson. Although its going to be different and probably a little frightening at times, it will be good for me to experience change in this new season of my life.
I also experience God through nature which is very much a part of the Clemson landscape. I loved taking advantage of free time to just enjoy the peace of campus, the Botanical Gardens and other areas nearby. God had already been working on my heart in the area of trust. He used this time to comfort and encourage me to allow Him full control over my next steps. After leaving the church staff position, I really felt lost as to where I'm called. To some extent, I still do though I have more of a peace that God's going to reveal His will in His perfect timing (just as He has at every change of season or direction in my life). When I heard the wisdom and council of those who I know love me, it was repeated confirmation of what God had been trying to get me to accept. As a young single, the whole world is open to me. God could call me anywhere. I cant deny that I'm still a bit frightened about the uncertainty of my future but I'm also starting to get excited about the possibilities. Jer 29:11 I know God has a plan for me. He's going to greatly use this time when He's all I have to cling to through all these changes.
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