Last week, the young adult ministry gathered for an evening of fellowship and worship. I've been so blessed with how God is moving in this ministry! Steve, the Young Adult pastor has such a vision for growth and outreach! He has been meeting with the men weekly in a group setting for the last few months. This was very evident as the guys took very active roles in leading the service. Steve started off by giving us the format: our worship leader (ECBC's Contemporary Worship leader, Kelly, is so gracious in serving us with his time and talents as well) and the band led us in worship through music then two of the guys lead in worship through reading and praying through scripture. I was reminded when Steve announced this element that my mindset should continually include scripture and prayer in worship.
We first read through Ps 138 then prayed through Ps 145 (praise, thanksgiving and supplication)
Our time was very encouraging. At one point, I was reminded of FCA worship services under the stars-feeling so close to His heart surrounded by His fingerprints. I realized though, that its so easy to get caught up in the natural emotions of the moment and to describe something like this in very "pretty" wording. It's so easy to feel the emotions of praise really without genuine heart stirring behind it. God is beautiful. Worship and making much of His glory is breathtaking.
I have found myself asking lately what stirs my praise? Am I stirred with the easy emotion of the moment or am I stirred because I truly understand God's love for me and what it cost Him; reminded of the truth of the Gospel and how great a God that gives this gift. It seems being filled with emotion can actually be a very empty form of "praise".
I fail miserably at this. I have a wandering mind and a selfish heart. I could never give God the praise He truly deserves but sometimes I can't even manage to turn my thoughts to Him long enough to refer to it as anything more than singing....
Kelly mentioned that the recurring concept of the musical worship was God's ultimate gift...I saw it as the continuation of what has been repeated for me lately: His love. I too often miss how personal God is. I see how He's God over all but I miss how gentle, close and loving He is. My personality is very much a "rule follower" and rather black and white in my logic.
I have been blessed to have been exposed to some great theological teaching. I most definitely cherish this as I have learned so much about my faith and my God. However, I think I have also succumb to burying myself in all that is black and white and grasped with enough study. I gloss over the reality of His love.
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