Unpredictable

Loving Francesca Battistelli's "Paper Heart" album! Such an encouragement to my heart!


Unpredictable Francesca Battistelli

Got my thoughts
I got my words
Got this head full of answers
Got You wrapped up
Got You under control
See my future like the past behind me
I think I know where You’re leading
Don’t need no questions
Don’t need no rocking the boat

But I just forget all the mystery
I just forget who You are

(Chorus)
When I know that I know
What You have down the road
When I’m sure that
I’ve figured You out
Help me see that I’m small
That I can’t know it all
‘Cause You’re so unpredictable
‘Cause You’re so unpredictable

You said the foolish
Would shame the wise
To put my faith
In what’s beyond my eyes
And to believe You
I have to come as a child

So help me to rest in the mystery
Of what I can’t understand

(Chorus)

Can’t wrap my mind around You
Can’t put You in a box
Can’t keep You safely contained
You’re gonna move the way
You wanna move today
Just let me follow along

Resurrection and the Life

At the Young Adult worship/sermon series meeting, Steve is covering the "I Am" statements. He covered I AM the Resurrection and the Life in three segments. The second covered John 11:17-37. (the following taken from my notes)
The passage covers the death of Lazarus and his sisters, Mary and Martha, interacting with Jesus at the funeral. Mary had previously sat at Jesus' feet and washed them with her hair. It takes her longer to come to Jesus with her grief. She stays at the house while Martha runs to Jesus before he gets into town.
In our minds, faithfulness to God means we're protected from certain trials. Martha is crushed and angry demanding to know why He did not save her brother. Neither sister has a full understanding of who Jesus is. At this point, Jesus has not raised anyone from the dead. They've never seen Him act under these circumstances. Bad circumstances do not change how God feels about us. Either God loves us and He is doing whats best for us or He wasn't paying attention.
What happens to your heart when you face difficulty? Do I first try to think of how I could have/can change it? (sin) Do I put my heart, life and trust in God's hands? Where I go in times of trouble shows what I worship.
In John 11:23, Jesus tells Martha that her brother will rise again. Martha has her theology down. She knows about the Messiah but she doesn't understand how this relates to her present suffering. We all have this question. Jesus doesn't draw Martha's hope to the proper understanding of theology. He's taking Lazarus' sisters to a place where their theology is practical not just intellectual. Jesus puts Martha's focus on "I AM"; not on a body of knowledge but on a person; not on her crushed expectations, heartache and frustration but on Jesus Himself.
Martha's beliefs don't penetrate to her life in the here and now. God will bring us to places in our walk with Him where we don't understand to bring us face to face with Jesus Himself and wrestle with Him. Mary didn't face Jesus until Martha came to tell her the Teacher wanted to see her. It took her longer to come to Jesus.
As He asked Mary and Martha, Jesus asks us: "Do you trust me"? "Do you believe"?
How does the reality of my faith get into the nitty gritty of my life?
We're forced to get personal with Jesus as He pulls us out of our complacency. Faithfully and gently, He leads us out past our understanding to places where we have no frame of reference, where we don't know how He works. He's making us trust Him. Sooner or later, in the situation you're in, you'll have to deal with Jesus. Don't pout and say He didn't give you what you deserved. What God has done in the past is a model and a promise for what He'll do in the future but He's too creative to do the same thing twice.
Vs 31, 33 The context of "weep" here as Jesus wept was that of a horse snorting; likely deeply troubled over the lack of belief. They couldn't see things through Jesus' eyes and did not understand God's plan. The Sovereignty of God is never counteracted by and does not discount His empathy. Jesus weeps with them. Though Jesus does not grieve without hope, He's empathetic. Jesus is in the hurt, anxiety, heartbreak with us. Is 53 A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. God is not in Heaven, arms folded, waiting for us to "get it". He's connected, loving, gentle with those He loves.
God leads us to places we don't understand, where we're angry thinking He didn't show up to glorify Him and deepen our walk.

Risking What is Precious on the Promise of God

God has always been incredibly faithful to meet me where I am and provide exactly what I need at just the right time. Within days of writing the last post, the lesson in Sunday School and the message at the weekly Young Adult meeting served exactly what my weary heart needed to feast on.
In Sunday School, we're in the midst of a series on Romans. The Young Adult Pastor, Steve, delved into Genesis 12, 15 and 17 to give us background on why Paul was referencing Abraham in Romans 4. The study of Abraham was something I really needed to hear. Abraham (then, Abram) and his wife, Sarah, were called by God to be sojourners. To them, it meant leaving family, land, and with it, any sense of security. God promised Abraham would father a great nation but he did not have an offspring. At the time, they didn't even have the scriptures as the Bible had not been written. All they had was God's self-disclosure. Abraham did not leave as he was instructed. He stayed until his father died. God once again commands Abraham to follow be a sojourner; to put all faith and security in God's promise. Abraham and Sarah were not given any direction or specifics just the instruction to go. Abraham is still seeking security. He sleeps with Sarah's handmaid, Hagar, and fathers Ishmael. He also lies about Sarah being his wife saying she was his sister.
In Genesis 15, at nearly 100 years old, Abraham is still waiting on offspring through Sarah, the child of the promise. "Believe" is seen for the first time in the Bible. The context directly connects this concept to that of righteousness.
This is what began to speak most prominently to me: God confronts Abraham and asks him a heart-searching question: Are you willing to trust me with the deepest desires of your heart? Are you willing to risk what is precious to you on the promise of God?
Abraham is still thinking in the present. Without an heir, what good is the promise of the nations? Without land, how was he to feed a family and have security from which to provide for them?
Clearly, Abraham had disobeyed and was still struggling to follow God's commands and see the fulfillment of the promise. Abraham's life connects here to Romans in that he was not declared righteous because of his works. Romans 4:4-5 God is not obligated to bless for works.
This greatly uplifted me in that Gods plans for me are not dependent on my works (or lack of them). Abraham's path to righteousness (faith) was a rocky one. He fell multiple times. Yet, each time, God picked him up and kept reminding him of the promise, of His good and purposeful plans for Abraham's life.
So even as I get scared to give up what is precious and secure to me, God is ever-present, consistently reminding me of His great plans for my life. I can't mess up God's plans.... my stubborn disobedience may delay what He wants to give me, but the promise remains.

At the Master's Feet

This seems incredibly cliche and very 8th grade diary but a lot has happened since I last posted anything. I have thought several times about posting notes from great sermons or reflections. Nothing seemed overly pressing to share. Some things were just too personal....God's been working on me a lot especially with trust...I clearly must be missing something b/c I've seen this lesson before....
In an outpouring of His grace, God has once again given me some of the most wonderful, encouraging and steadfast sisters I have ever met. A couple of them in particular have been so sacrificial and patient as they've listened to me process and try to figure out what God has in mind... (yea.... I'll eventually learn my lesson about that one....HA!)
One wise sister reminded me that its ok to cry out literally and figuratively and tell God you don't understand. Ahh....sweet freedom in Christ! He may not tell us why but He'll grant the grace and peace to bear the load.
God has been truly faithful in the last couple of months to meet me in whatever state I happen to be in at the time....there's been a lot of confusion, anger, sadness and yet more peace than I've ever experienced. I know He's flooded my life with grace as I've asked question after question in prayer time. I can remember being in this mental, emotional place two or three years ago. I don't remember having this much peace about God's sovereignty and confidence that the steps I am taking are ordained though certainly not what I would have chosen.
I have felt a mental and emotional shift. Things that were once so important (even escapes to "home sweet Tiger Town") I'm now beginning to recognize as idols. Letting go and moving towards what God has planned (essentially, the unknown) doesn't mean I no longer appreciate things He's used mightily in my life in the past. My mom used to tell me that you have to hold your hands open for God to put something in them which also leaves open the opportunity for Him to take things away to make room...
He's placed me where I am to make an impact for Him. I've seen that so clearly recently. Aspects of ministry that I've asked Him to allow me to take part in are now being granted but not in the way I would have imagined... so often, I don't feel adequate to take on the challenges He sets before me. Though, I'm beginning to enjoy being trusted to take them on and how He'll equip me.
Being a young, female believer in the workplace, for instance, has presented me with the daily question of how to firmly stand by convictions while still exuding a gentle and quiet spirit and loving on others. I've learned a lot watching other believers of how to relate to others no matter where they are faith-wise. A humbling lesson to say the least. I never imagined myself enjoying an environment that requires such a constant spiritual state of readiness.
Overall, God's good. I know that. There's something about Him that's impossible to turn away from. Even when I disagree with His direction, He's still faithful. Even when all I can do is vent and cry, He's steadfast and full of compassion. Sitting at His feet, hearing Him repeat how much He loves me and has a plan for me has become such a sweet joy and privilege.