Brokenness

Very much like SummerLINK, the Charleston Crusade project group takes part in corporate worship and hearing from the word as well as fellowship during their weekly meeting (Cru). Also like SummerLINK, they are encouraged to invite guests! I'm so thankful to have been extended an invitation to the last two Crusade meetings.
God's use of timing in ministering to my heart is not only in giving me a group of believers to worship and fellowship with especially in the absence of my small group (in recess for the summer) but also in the timing of my day to prepare my heart for what He wanted me to hear tonight.
During my quiet time today, I felt the need to spend a little more time journaling as God was dealing with my heart on some things. I didn't think much of it until the very same message the Lord was personally preaching to my heart was given again in the meeting! The message was a "special delivery" of grace as it was both very convicting and incredibly freeing!
The evening started out with the testimony of one of the project members, Kim. She began by stating that she wanted to tell us a story about how she fell in love with Jesus. The way she presented herself was so free of any trace of self-centeredness....She's very clearly full of wisdom gained through valleys and trails. I related to her background: Christian home, Christian school, decision at a young age and yet no consistency walking in the faith until college particularly after the breakup of a long-term relationship. A couple of Kim's statements particularly stuck out to me: After realizing that she had not fully submitted her relationship to the Lord, she told Him she didn't have the strength to walk away so she asked God to "either work through the relationship or end it". Such wisdom and beauty in surrender. And such truth. A relationship that is not fulfilling God's purposes is not worth fighting (against God) for. Kim's walk has been getting stronger by the day as she falls "more in love with Him daily". She continues to pray for "a love and passion for Christ that is consistent through ups and downs rather than being dependent on them". This reminded me of a conversation I had with a sweet friend just a few days ago: a needed reminder to seek God to know His character and His heart for His world, His people and His glory not solely for the answer to or delivery from circumstances.
The staff director, Chad, gave the message from the Word continuing the group's study of Romans. Tonight's lesson focused on brokenness from Romans 6 but referencing Romans 5-8.
Chad asked two questions:
1) Does the message of salvation-by-grace-alone lead you to stay unchanged morally?
2) Does the gospel (the message you are no longer "under the law") leave you free to live in any way you choose?
The answer to both is "no"
1) Rom 6:2-14 2) Rom 6:16-23, 7:1-6

and gave "the Faith Formula"
Intimacy w God= (Prayer + God's Word) + Brokenness + (Obedience +Evangelism)
(Faith+Benefits) = (Knowledge of Faith) + Receptiveness + (Acts or Steps of Faith)
Benefits of faith are defined as Fruits of the Spirit

The portion that brought about the most reflection though was the very specific contrasting of Unbroken and Broken People

Unbroken People vs Broken People

unbroken: Focus on the failures of others
broken: Overwhelmed with sense of own spiritual need

unbroken: Self-righteous; have a critical, fault-finding spirit
broken:Compassionate; forgiving; look for best in others

unbroken: Look down on others
broken:Esteem others better than self

unbroken: Independent/self-sufficient spirit
broken:Dependent spirit/recognize need for others

unbroken: Maintain control; must be their way broken:Surrender Control

unbroken: Have to prove that they are right; Claim rights
broken:Willing to yield the right to be right; Yield rights

unbroken: Demanding spirit broken: Giving spirit

unbroken: Self-protective of time, rights, reputation broken: Self-denying

unbroken: Work to maintain image/protect reputation broken: Die to own reputation

unbroken: Desire: to be served, be a success, self-advancement
broken: Motivated to serve others, desire to make others a success and promote them

unbroken: Driven to be recognized/appreciated "The ministry is privileged to have me"
broken:Sense of unworthiness; thrilled to be used at all
"I dont deserve to serve in this ministry"

unbroken: Think of what they can do for God broken: Know they have nothing to offer God

unbroken: Feel confident in how much they know
broken: Humbled by how much they have to learn

unbroken: Defensive when criticized broken: Receive criticism with a humble, open heart

unbroken: Don't think that they have anything to repent of
broken:Continual heart attitude of repentance



Bits of wisdom:
The more I can be broken before God each day, the more I can fall in love with Him
Faith doesn't accumulate, it must be renewed each day.