Summer '12

It seems my blog has succumb to the fate of others I've read: "has it really been x months since I've written anything??" yea...guilty...lets move on

My summer has been busy with work, church activities and time with friends.
At church, I've been involved with our 5 yr old sunday school class, media team with photography for baptisms and service events and other ad hoc events including those supporting new members and marriage. Definitely a variety which I enjoy. On a more consistent basis, I've been hostessing a Bible study and co-leading it with a friend. It's been a good season to get to know some other women in the church, encouraging and comforting each other through some pretty life-shaking challenges. We studied Hebrews and Mark Driscoll's doctrine series. We've had some wonderful discussion and I've seen the Holy Spirit turning on some lightbulbs as I've watched the ladies' eyes. So encouraging to be part of growth.
Though, for everything there is a season. In a few short weeks, I'll start an MBA program and have thus elected to no longer host or lead.  I feel at rest about this decision though. Career-wise and personally, its time for a new season.
Work has grown more challenging yet has its moments of also being encouraging and rewarding. I've been recognized as a diligent, competent worker. Definitely something my often self-deprecating, female brain needs to hear! 
Time with friends has been a blessing. It's been a long time since I've had friends who have known me so well (through taking the time to observe and get to know me) that they can tell me why I'm struggling with something based on how my personality handles it. They've also been some of the most encouraging people in my life. They've reminded me of my strengths. (repeatedly.... making sure I accept and use God's gifts of ability and character)

Here's a brief overview of the last few months' events

 Elaine's Bridal Shower

 Company "Family Fun Day" at a local park. Pictured is part of my work team.
This was actually very nice. They rented one of the buildings so we ate and had a quarterly meeting inside then went outside for kickball, blowup obstacles courses and enjoying each other outside the office.
For Memorial Day, my group of friends decided to copy this idea (without the building and obstacle courses) Apparently very few people know that if a building isnt rented that day, its park benches and grills are first-come, first served. We had a great time in the area right behind the group in this picture. Great tree cover to grill out, sit at the benches and chat or cheer on the volleyball game we threw together. Definitely one of my favorite group gatherings!

 The end of a sweet season. Bittersweet to watch Katie and Nick end their time with the company and move on to bigger things. They're each still in town so Katie and I still catch up fairly regularly and even explored a new "hole-in-the-wall" coffee shop/lunch spot a couple weeks ago! Cant wait for the next lunch date with this awesome sister :)

 Oh Ken... A staple group activity is Friday movie nights. I think this was after Brave or maybe Snow White?? (Avengers, Brave and SpiderMan win for me this summer!!!) He put on one of the girls' headbands and channeled Jordy LaForge... I really love time with this group especially considering how much I laugh! Such great medicine for ANYTHING! This may have been the same night that I heard one of the guys say they needed to use the restroom on our way out of the movie.....so I purposely blocked his path (they bring out the mischief maker in me hehe) He very adeptly placed both of his forearms under my armpits and escorted me to the theater door at speed! I was carrying a half-full small popcorn. You may be able to assume the rest.

For those wondering about the quilt...
I'm still working on it. Havent had the time necessary to really focus on it :( At the moment, it is completely basted! (this means that there are thick threads loosely running through each row and column to hold all three layers (front with the shirt squares, middle batting and back sheet) together. I've bought more thread, template plastic, a template pencil, a quilting hoop and quilting needles. I'll have to go total things up but that probably added another $40ish... (in case anyone is still following about how much this costs and what steps are involved. As this is my first adventure in quilting, I know I've bought some items I didn't end up using or using as much and of course tools I didn't previously own so I'm expecting this will be one of the more expensive routes...)

And lastly, fourth of July!!Food, a slip-n-slide, FOOD, Fireworks, hanging out and chatting, oh and food ;)

 My favorite picture from the day. My coworker, Doug, and his son on the slip-n-slide

 Blogger is insisting on not rotating correctly but this is little man wearing my shoes. This little one can consistently capture the attention of a room full of adults. So much personality! 

Easter surprise

I discovered ducklings with their momma in the pond close to where I live on Easter Sunday.
Enjoy some pictures of these cute little neighbors!

Quilt update!

It seems I'm overdue for an update...
I actually have been working on the quilt! Since the last update, I finishing sewing the front panel together, bought the batting (about $15) and decided to fold the back material around to the front instead of using a separate material for edging (thought I did buy a deep purple fabric for this purpose). I've been working on how to get the three layers sewn together and the get the quilt finished! Here are some pictures of my progress.


Rows sewn

Top layer finished!

Three layers together with the batting layer cut to fit the top layer

Getting close! I'm currently hand-sewing the the brown back layer to the edges of the front. I'll fill with the batting and pin like crazy to finish by sewing along the lines to create the quilted effect.

Transparent

Some things are just not appropriate for a public forum but there are times that I think its good to take down some "good Christian" facades and acknowledge that life in this faith was never guaranteed to be "perfect".

My spiritual footing has been a bit shaky lately. Various areas of my life are just frustrating. So logically, I get spiritually apathetic.... yea.... because that's really logical and oh so helpful...
I've known for a good few weeks now that issues would cease to have such an impact if I set my priorities back in order. And yet, here I am.....Looking forward to finding out the benefits of this God-given stubbornness someday... Today, it seemed multiple women, most I don't know very well or at all, were all being used to shout the same message, in unison, directly to me.
First, I read a blog post from a wonderful mom I go to church with:
She wrote of her baby girl, Lacie, who has a horrible fear of getting her nails trimmed, having splinters removed or anything else involving a sharp object and trusting her mother to take care of the issue..... This hit home....hard....
Sarah realized in the battle to trim a piece of skin near Lacie's fingernail that the lesson was actually for her:

"All of a sudden, I looked down at my girl – and saw a very familiar ‘me’. This is my exact reaction when there is something that I know I need to take to the Lord. Though I don’t literally scream and cry – inside I do fret and worry. I tense up and while I start to hand it to Him – I immediately jerk it away – scared to death of what it’s gonna take to remove it from my life and convinced that it is going to bring unbearable pain. I sat on the bathroom floor with my baby girl and so gently held her hand in mine. I stopped to reassure her that I loved her. I had no desire to hurt her – that was not my intention. But if I didn’t remove this little bit of skin – it would only get worse. It might sting for a second, but then it would be over and she would feel so much better. Her little heart had such a difficult time processing this information. I looked at her again, and said, ‘Baby girl you have got to trust your mama.’ Over and over, I just whispered to her ‘trust’. Through tears she looked up at me and said, ‘But I’m scared of you. You’re going to hurt me.’ Everything in me switched into a calm and peaceful frame of mind (which was unusual as this carrying on is usually more frustrating than endearing) as suddenly the Lord stepped in to make sure I was paying attention – cuz all of this was for me
How many times have hard things come up in my life, but I’m too scared to take them to God? A God who loves me, delights in me, would do anything to protect and strengthen me. On good days, that’s so easy to believe – it’s so easy to climb into His arms, much like my baby girl would in mine – and trust and believe anything He said. But allow something to go wrong; have something more difficult and scary…something that I don’t know the end result to? And suddenly I’m throwing a fit on the floor doing anything I can to keep Him away. How many times have my actions screamed out ‘I don’t trust you’? How many times have I looked up at Him and confessed ‘But I know to get rid of this means it’s going to hurt?’ "


I immediately saw myself in little Lacie.... the things I've been carrying around.... guarding the equivalent of a festering sore.... I get home knowing I desperately need time with Lord and watch tv instead. Anything to just not address the issues, not acknowledge that I'm worried, frightened, frustrated.....I'd rather be distracted than have to deal with anything God may have to say to me. I don't want to see the clippers. My loving parent has told me the solution: I need to come to Him and trust. I'd rather run and hide. I somehow think that if I cower around my hurts long enough He'll somehow take pity on me and give me what I want instead of whats best for me... where oh where in all my recollections of experiencing God have I EVER known Him to do anything less than whats best for me??

Also like Lacie, I return to the same response when again faced with fear:

"when I needed to trim her sharp nails…and back to square one we went. The entire conversation…trust, I won’t hurt you, etc etc. All with the same ending down to the bear hug on the floor.

And wasn’t that just like me as well. How quickly I forget the lessons that God just finished teaching me. How much did He prove Himself trustworthy? And yet my mind still goes to ‘well, that was then…this time it could really hurt.’ And yet His patience far outweighs my doubt and disbelief. Oh, that I would just trust – and operate in that trust. He is a God who loves me. All that He does for me, all that He allows me to experience, everything is intended to grow me, protect me and ultimately demonstrate His love for me so much so that I demonstrate it to others. I am His baby girl, but it’s time I stopped behaving like a child"

As I was reading the end of her blog post, I was also listening to a spot on the WAYFM. One of the DJ's, Melissa, was sharing about her battles with an eating disorder. She made a point that Christian women tend to have great fear of being found out for what we struggle with. We cling to the ideal of having it all together. We compare to others often overlooking the truth that they have their own struggles going on even if they manage to keep it behind closed doors. There's a great power of bondage in stigma and fear.

Later in the evening, I read a blog post by another wise woman from a church I attended. She wrote of breaking the bondage of comparisons among women stating that we're all on the same team. I knew just what she meant when she wrote of feeling freed when another woman tells you they struggle with the same thing. One of my favorite quotes from pinterest echoes this: Friendship is born when someone says "You too?? I thought I was the only one!" There's perhaps a greater power in joining what the enemy seeks to separate. To band together for support and to present a united front.

So where does all of this leave me? Honestly.... growing in understanding doesn't always have any affect on "feeling" better.....Like Lacie, I remain guarded the very next time the issue comes up. I quickly forget what God has done and return to my default of distrust and fear of the hurt. I look at the next instance as failure. I didn't battle well enough the last time... Its back to hurt me again. So, I get worn out of battling at all. I refuse to trust the heart behind the arms that are holding me and the healing power residing there. I've been presented with the truth of what needs to happen, what will make me better. I've been here before, I've heard that same truth from the lips of my Heavenly Father. He's explained that its not His intention to hurt me. Yet, somehow, my default is to run back to a state of fear and disbelief that He's still just as caring, still just as gentle, and just as set on my well-being. So we'll continue this routine as He repeats the words and the motions: it's not my intention to hurt you, trust me, even though you don't know the ending, your hands are in mine. I'll make you better.

Quilt Update

I haven't forgotten or given up!
I found a brown cotton flannel flat sheet from LL Bean. Ended up needing a queen size and there's only a couple of inches of extra material on all sides. Apparently I'm creating a little more than a throw blanket ;) It takes over the living room floor as it is now haha. Before the edging, the quilt squares put together are about 85"x85"! I have all 7 rows sown. (7 strips of 7 squares each) This includes a middle square I spent some time deciding on.
I'm working on getting the rows sown together to form the whole front panel. Still excited to see it put together! I was having a little trouble with the machine when I started sowing the rows so I'll get some help from more experienced seamstresses and get back to it!

cost update:
tshirt for middle square (on sale!) $12
flat sheet $29
For a total of $41
Costs are slowing down. I'll just need the batting for the middle and to choose a fabric for the edging.

Getting so close!

birthday blessings

Celebrations for my birthday landed over the long weekend. I had a truly wonderful time with several sweet friends.
A college friend went with me to brunch after sleeping in. I really love a good breakfast sandwich and fruit but so rarely have the time. Yummy treat to start the day!
I made a couple appointments for hair and such with a local salon. It was fun to do something special to get ready for a birthday girls night out.
I had just enough time to get ready at a relaxed pace before Kristin arrived to pick me up for painting and dinner.
We met the group at a social art studio for our group painting class. By far one of my favorite birthday parties!

This is our artist, Kate, with her original "Battery Sunset" painting. I found it on the January calendar and requested that it be the painting of the night. The studio was so kind in honoring the request. I was so excited to get to pick the painting for the party!

Over the course of the two our session, the artist started with a white canvass and walked the class through the painting, step by step! We all commented how impressed we were with the other instructors roaming the room giving tips and advice. They answered specific questions as well as making observations to not only help you finish the painting but develop sharper skills as an artist. I learned technique for blending colors to transition (as we did with the sky and water) and had to laugh when one of the instructors had to repeatedly remind me not to be timid with the paint. They made it so much fun while we also walked away having learned.







After the painting class, we headed off to one of my favorite restaurants. They had taken my favorite entree off of the menu but the waiter told me that the head chef was in that night and could make it for me! (extra spoiled much?!?!)
I felt so blessed and spoiled in so many ways that night! The company was wonderful! The ladies with me were from various aspects of my life: church, work --all friends that God's somewhat surprised me with. All at the perfect time and more of a blessing than I'll be able to explain to them. I connect with each in different ways and learn so much from them. It was a sweet blessing to watch them meet, interact, and enjoy each other - seeing just an evening's snapshot of the qualities I've come to love about each of them.
I told them at dinner that it may sound "cheeseball" but that one of my favorite gifts was realizing how blessed I am to share not only the evening but friendships with so many strong, capable, intelligent, beautiful and genuinely caring women. From the depths of faith to career direction to the fun of food and fashion, I love our conversations.
A few friends who couldn't make it that night joined me another day for lunch. I spent the weekend surrounded by so many friends. I was reminded of how blessed and loved I am.
Thank you everyone for a wonderful birthday!

25 Rules of Order

Stole this from an email from Dad. Author Unknown.

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

2 . I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

5. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

6. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

7. My reality cheque has bounced.

8. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

9. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

10. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

11. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

12. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

13. Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

14. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

15. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

16. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

17. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

18. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

19. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

20. Following the rules will not get the job done.

21. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"